Thursday, April 29, 2010

Angelina Jolie Losing Sleep, Like the Rest of Us

These days are… how you say? Tense. Even the beautiful people are prone to depression, what with all the sorrow in the world right now. Earthquakes, famine, disease… ‘Lost’ coming to an end. It’s tough out there. Eonline claims that Angelina Jolie, HHL’s Best Everything/Lips is apparently losing sleep over the thousands of displaced people trapped in Somalia. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, it shows on your face. If you’re losing sleep over the state of things like Ms. Jolie, maybe consider a Blepharoplasty in between GreenPeace fundraisers. Eyelid surgery is the best way to eliminate dark, baggy undereyes, and revitalize your look, a common problem for people plagued with existential angst.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Wouldn’t it Be Lolavie?

Jennifer Aniston, 2009’s Best Body: “My new perfume is called ‘Lolavie.’”
BHI: “Gesundheit. Now, what’s the name of your perfume?”

Perfect ad campaign for Jennifer Aniston’s new perfume, no? No? Well, whatever. You can’t expect facial plastic surgeons to give up their day job. Anyoldhow, according to Ms. Aniston, her new scent is going to smell “sexy and clean.” (Which begs the question- did she consciously nix her other perfume scent, the one that smelled unsexy and dirty?)Speaking of sexy, Jennifer has one of the most coveted bodies on planet Earth. If you are looking to upgrade your look, perhaps consider procedures like liposuction and body contouring. We’re sure the sweet smell of confidence is right up there with Lolavie.

Scarlett’s In Style

Scarlett Johansson, HHL alum for Best Lips graces the cover of In Style, where she reveals that she’d rather spend the night at home with husband Ryan Reynolds than go out and party. Hm. Yes ScarJo, I taste what you’re cooking. And along those lines, I think I would rather eat chocolate than broccoli. Why go out and get trampled by drunk Lindsay Lohan when you can snuggle next to your gorgeous love bunny at home? Ahem. Scarlett is host body of some of Hollywood’s Hottest Lips. If you’re looking to plump up your puckers, you might want to consider SurgiSil PermaLip implant. It’s an adjustable, permanent implant that yields natural looking results without injections! Great lips without injections? Sounds almost as unbelievable and AWESOME as being married to Ryan Reynolds.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Carrie Underwood- Entertainer of the Year. (Again.)

Carrie Underwood, 2009’s Best Jawline, has been super busy lately, what with all the sticky bun fittings it must take to prepare for her “Carrie Fisher” wedding, plus there’s being entertainer of the year and all. The country crooner won the title of “Entertainer of the Year” at the 2010 Country Music Awards for a second time, beating out our own Best Hair Taylor Swift. For busy brides on the go like Carrie, we recommend relaxing and rejuvenating facial treatments, like our new Vi Peel and the Herbal Green Peel.

Isla Fisher Pregnant?

(We think) Isla Fisher, 2009’s Best Hair is pregnant again! Either that, or she’s been eating a massively huge burrito for lunch every day that has been growing larger and larger in her womb for the past 6 months. Since Isla has not confirmed her pregnancy, perhaps we shouldn’t be congratulating her and husband Sasha Baron Cohen on their little burrito baby, lest the entertainment lawyers come to call. Regardless, she looks beautiful, as ever. Isla’s fire-red locks are the perfect representation of feminine beauty. If you are looking for a way to improve the appearance of your head spaghetti, look into our hair replacement procedures. Forgive all the food references- it’s lunchtime here at HHL headquarters.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Emily Blunt and John Krasinski Wedding Update (It’s still on. Sigh.).

For those of you HHL followers who know and love John Krasinki as Jim Halpert from The Office, otherwise known as Pam Beasley’s better half, turn away. This will make you sad. 2010’s Best Jawline, Emily Blunt and John Krasinski are said to tie the knot in the next month. While various media outlets are still trying to get all the details, one thing is for certain. Emily is sure to look flawless, thanks in part to her gorgeous bone structure. While we can’t give brides everything (like Jim Halpert as a groom) there are certain procedures we can perform to balance out the face, and keep results looking natural and proportional. If you’re lusting after a strong jawline for extra drama and dimension like Emily, you might consider a chin implant, or Mentoplasty. Congrats to the happy couple. May your years be filled with joy, and Jello-encapsulated kitchenware.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Jessica Simpson’s Naked (Face) on Marie Claire

Marie Claire has made us proud this month, by placing HHL alum Jessica Simpson on the cover… with no makeup! The blonde bombshell looks radiant, thanks in part to her glowing, youthful skin- the key to eternal beauty. If your skin needs some rejuvenation, head on over to our aesthetician Marilyn. Our signature facial treatments like the Herbal Green Peel and our new “Vi” Peel will freshen and revitalize the skin on a cellular level.

Dear Katherine Hiegl

To: Katherine Hiegl
From: The Beverly Hills Institute
Re: The Big Mistake You’re Making/ We Care

Dear Ms. Hiegl,

You may not be aware, but we care very deeply about our HHL winners. When we are faced with news that is less than conducive to the overall well-being of these celebrities, sometimes we sit down and write out a thoughtful, caring note. (Please reference James Franco and the General Hospital Debacle of 2009.) We’ve heard that you are leaving Grey’s Anatomy. For good, this time. We recently posted about the rumors you were leaving the show, but were in a black cloud of denial and refused to believe that the universe would be so evil as to throw earthquakes at Haiti, Mexico, Chile, Indonesia and China, break up Sandra Bullock and Jesse James, and take Dr. Izzie Stevens out of Grey’s Anatomy. Cut us some slack. The end of the world isn’t supposed to be until 2012. Katherine, let’s look back at your film career. The Ugly Truth. 27 Dresses. We bring up these unpleasant memories because we care. Also, do us a solid and go back to blonde hair.

With love,

The Beverly Hills Institute

PS- Fillers like Juvederm and Restylane are great ways to plump up your lips, just like Katherine’s. Plump lips are ideal for kissing the ground in acts of contrition when you realize you’ve made a big honking mistake and must beg for forgiveness. Take note, Katherine. Take note.